Hiding Behind Love Read online

  I growled, wishing the old man would go on about his business but knowing full well he wouldn’t leave me alone until I gave him at least a breadcrumb.

  “Either way, still not your business,” I told him, returning to my work. This stall couldn’t get any cleaner, and neither could the other ones, but I kept going anyway.

  “Ya been like a son ta me yer entire life. Who was there after yer dumbass daddy up and flew the coop? Tha’s right, me.” Caleb was only getting started with his guilt trip. Having heard it all so many times before when he wanted information, I could recite it verbatim. “I helped yer ma raise ya ta be the man ya are today, so don’t go actin’ like I don’t give a damn ‘bout ya. Gettin’ a bit big for yer britches there, ain’t ya, boy?”

  Caleb kept right on going, and I shook my head, grabbed the brush hanging from my back pocket, and began brushing down my favorite mare of them all, Golden Sunshine, ignoring him to the best of my ability. My thoughts went back to circling on how to prevent Carissa from sneaking out without a word, which I was sure was what she was planning on doing.

  “Ya hearin’ me, boy?” Caleb raised his voice when he noticed I wasn’t paying the slightest bit of attention.

  “Heard it all a million times before. Still doesn’t mean I’m tellin’ you a damn thing,” I told him, continuing to brush Sunshine as she nuzzled my neck. She was one of the gentlest horses I’d ever had—great with kids as well.

  “You’re just an ungrateful pain in my ass,” Caleb grumbled, and I rolled my eyes. Heard that one more than a few times in my life as well. “Ya know, I ne’er married ‘cause I was so busy ‘round here takin’ care of you and yer mama?”

  “Ya never married ‘cause you couldn’t find a woman who could tolerate you gossipin’ like a teenage girl,” I heckled him back.

  “Now look here—”

  “Hey, Kolt, there ya are,” Marv cut Caleb off, and I chuckled as the older man glowered at the interruption.

  “Whatcha need?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at the man who’d instigated yet another fight earlier. If he didn’t cut his shit, I was going to have to let him go sooner rather than later.

  “Ol’ Bets is showin’ signs of goin’ inta labor soon. Was wonderin’ if ya wanted me to stick around to help with the birthin’?” Marv asked, shuffling his feet and avoiding meeting my eyes.

  “Nah. I think we’re good. You can head on home,” I said, not wanting the know-it-all around if there were any complications. I didn’t anticipate any since Ol’ Bets had birthed several fine calves already, but one never could tell when something would go haywire. Besides, I had the vet on speed dial and he lived two short miles down the road.

  “I also wanted ta apologize for what happened earlier. It was just an honest misunderstandin’,” Marv tried explaining yet again.

  I didn’t know how disregarding what he’d been told to do by Justin, his direct supervisor, and do it the exact opposite way was a misunderstanding. We did things certain ways for a reason, and if he couldn’t get on board with it, he’d have to go.

  “Thanks for that, but you’re still on your final warnin’. Can’t have you disregardin’ how we do things ‘round here when nobody else gets to. Either do things our way or hit the road,” I told him firmly, watching his shoulders stiffen and lips tighten in anger.

  “The way I was doin’ it was not only faster but cheaper,” Marv argued, unable to hold back his argument.

  “But it’s not safer. Not for you and not for the animals,” I replied, unwilling to budge an inch. “If ya show up tomorrow, I’ll take that as you tellin’ me you’re willin’ to do things our way and no other. If ya don’t…” We all knew the rest, so I didn’t bother saying it.

  “Ya know you’re lucky Kolt here decided ta give ya a chance when no one else would. He heard all the rumors same as the rest of us, and here ya are payin’ him back with nothin’ but disrespect. Be glad I’m not him, ‘cause he’s nicer ‘n I would be,” Caleb told Marv, fury vibrating through his voice.

  “You’re so scary,” Marv said sarcastically, doing a fake shiver and laughing. “Got me shakin’ in my boots.”

  That was one thing I wouldn’t tolerate.

  “Get off my property and don’t come back,” I told him, barely restraining my rage at how rude he’d been to Caleb, the man who truly did love me like a son and stuck around to prove it. I may not want to share my every thought and feeling with the man, but I respected him above all other men in this world for taking in a kid that was not his own, and he wasn’t dating or sleeping with the mama either. At least that’s what Caleb and Mama pretended, so I rolled with it. He was just a kind-hearted person that way, and I was honestly sorry he hadn’t found a woman to shower all that love on openly.

  “For what!” Marv yelled, shock and anger competing for dominance on the man’s rugged features.

  “We don’t disrespect each other ‘round here, and you were already on your final warnin’ anyway,” I informed him, ready to do battle if the need arose. Marv was unpredictable, but Caleb and Mama had always taught me that everyone deserved a chance to prove themselves, no matter what people were saying about them behind their back. It didn’t take me long to regret hiring him, but he worked hard and showed up on time, so I let him continue…until now.

  “Ya can’t just dismiss me for makin’ a damn joke,” Marv cried out in angry disbelief.

  Personally, I was relived to be done with the man.

  “Get your stuff on the way out,” I told him before pushing my way out of the stall and stripping off my gloves. “I better not see ya ‘round here again.”

  “What about my last check?” Marv asked, his eyes glinting dangerously, but he didn’t scare me in the slightest. I was known to hold my own with some of the toughest assholes in the area when they got out of line. Don’t ask, it’s a long story.

  “Leave your address with Justin, and we’ll mail it to ya so it gets there on payday,” I informed him before turning to stride out of the stables. Several horses stuck their heads out to get their noses stroked as I passed.

  “Fuck that, Reed! I’ll be here every damn day ‘til ya give me my money!” Marv hollered after me.

  “Then you’d be tresspassin’, son, and that there’s an arrestable offense. Kolt would be well within his rights to call out the sheriff on ya. Wouldn’t that be breakin’ somethin’ ta do with yer parole?” Caleb asked, humor lacing his words. I worried he’d push Marv too far, causing the man’s temper to snap, and he’d hurt old Caleb, so I paused heading toward the house to intervene.

  “Hey, Caleb, weren’t you ‘bout to tell me somethin’?” I called back, knowing Caleb would get the message and come with me. “Sorry that things had to end this way, Marv. I promise your check will be delivered to ya on payday and not a day later. Feel free to see your way out.”

  “Sure ya wanna trust him on his own? He might steal or trash stuff on his way out, with the mood he’s in,” Caleb warned me in a low voice, and I conceded he had an excellent point. I looked around and caught Mike headed toward the bunkhouse to clock out and waved him over.

  “What’s up, boss?” Mike asked as he jogged closer.

  “Just had ta let Marv go. He’s back in the stables, and I was wonderin’ if you’d grab Toby and go escort him ta clock out for the day, collect his stuff, give Justin his address for his final check to be delivered, and off the property?” I requested, and Mike nodded solemnly.

  “Ya got it, boss man. Hate ta say it, but I’m glad ya got rid of him. He was nothin’ but trouble,” Mike offered as he turned to head back the way he’d come to enlist Toby’s aid in removing Marv from duty.

  “Smart not sending Justin ta do it. Normally, that’s who we’d send,” Caleb commented, and I nodded. “Ya got a good head on your shoulders there, boy.”

  “Not what you were sayin’ earlier,” I joked, still tense from the altercation with Marv. I hated firing people, but sometimes it just had to be done. Marv wasn’t a good fit fo
r our ranch at all, and I had to do what was best for the ranch and the people it provided for.

  “Yeah, well…” Caleb trailed off, and I laughed at how embarrassed he looked. He knew he’d gone overboard trying to get a juicy tidbit to spread around to the guys. He was worse than the old wives club.

  “Uh huh.” I clapped him on the shoulder and grinned. “Still not getting anythin’ to spread on the rumor mill.”

  “Come on! The guys been badgerin’ me all damned day. Gotta give me somethin’ ta tell ‘em,” Caleb practically begged, and I shook my head.

  “Tell them if there’s anythin’ they wanna know, come ask me, Carissa, or Miss Bonnie,” I told him firmly, swallowing back laughter at how miserable he looked.

  “Now tellin’ ‘em to ask Miss Carissa is just dangerous,” Caleb warned as we reached the back door, and as I thought about it, I knew he was right yet again. Those boys would be lining up to ask her something and not getting any work done that they were paid to do.

  “Fine. Tell them to ask me or Miss Bonnie,” I amended, and Caleb nodded sullenly. It never ceased to amaze me how a grown man could gossip like there was no tomorrow. “Now, aren’t ya done for the day?”

  “Just wanted ta say bye to Miss Bonnie ‘fore I head on home,” Caleb said as he stepped into the kitchen behind me.

  “Don’t go kissin’ up ta me, ya old coot,” Mama called out from the head of the table where she was eyeing Caleb suspiciously. “I know that’s why ya told me ‘bout Marv and Justin’s fight earlier, too. I don’t know what ya want, but the answer’s no, and it ain’t changin’.”

  I glared at Caleb after my mother’s outburst. I’d specifically told him not to tell her what had happened, and he’d run up here and squealed like a pig. It didn’t take long before Caleb backed out of the door and closed it behind him without saying a word. I’d handle him in the morning.

  Turning back around, I noticed Carissa standing over the stove, her back to me. I couldn’t stop myself from noticing how well her ass filled out those denim shorts she had plastered on. Definitely not something I’d pictured her wearing, but they lit up every fantasy I could ever imagine, and then a few extra ones my brain created just to make things harder for me.

  “Stop standin’ there like a deer caught in headlights and come sit your ass down,” Mama ordered, smiling widely at having witnessed just how affected I was by Carissa’s presence. It hadn’t even been a full day of her being here, and I was nursing a case of blue balls so bad I might need to visit the doctor for help. Unless, of course, Carissa was willing to come to my aid, which I highly doubted with the way she looked at me earlier in her room.

  Carissa turned around, and it worried me that I couldn’t read the expression on her face as she set the lettuce she’d been busy washing down on the cutting board to begin chopping for salad. “Hey,” she said softly but focused on the task she was working on.

  “Carissa’s makin’ up a salad, if ya couldn’t already tell. Ya get out the steaks I’ve had marinatin’ since this mornin’ and get ‘em on the grill. The taters are already bakin’ in the oven,” Mama instructed me firmly, which I was thankful for because I couldn’t form a thought in my head that wasn’t centered around Carissa naked under that apron she had on or me peeling her out of those tight-ass, cut-off jeans she was wearing.

  With a stiff nod, I moved awkwardly around my erection to the fridge, which was embarrassing as hell in front of both my mom and the cause of said erection, and pulled out the dish I’d been instructed to get.

  I made the mistake of looking back at Carissa one more time before I headed outside and froze. She was bent over picking up some lettuce that had fallen to the floor, and her shorts rode up to where half of her ass cheeks were hanging out and practically begging my hands to cup them and squeeze.

  “Boy, I swear if ya don’t get movin’, I’ll do it myself,” Mama threatened, snapping me out of my trance just as Carissa righted herself and glanced over at me with a strangely blank expression.

  I wondered if she knew what she was doing to me and whether or not she was doing it on purpose. I supposed there was a slim possibility that she had no idea whatsoever, but girls that gorgeous knew how to use their bodies to manipulate a man.

  With that thought sobering me up and softening the problem in my pants, I turned toward the door while vowing to go visit Sarah within the next few days and made tracks to the grill. Most people out here preferred to use a wood pit to BBQ, but with running the ranch full time and having to cook and care for Mama, I’d broken down and bought a gas grill to lighten my load. Giving up BBQ wasn’t an option.

  Was Carissa paying me back for how I’d behaved earlier? I didn’t know whether I really wanted to know the answer to that question. It was an alternate possibility to the two I’d considered in the kitchen.

  This woman had me all tied up in knots, and I had no idea what to do about it. I’d sworn off relationships after Karlene ripped my heart out the way she had. With everything I had on my plate to deal with, I couldn’t afford for Carissa to get to me this bad. I could only manage the occasional hookup nights of fun once in a while.

  I did my best to focus on the task at hand but somehow still ended up burning the steaks when my thoughts returned to Carissa slipping out and disappearing without a word. The looks she gave me in the kitchen made me think that possibility was stronger than I’d even realized.

  “You best not have burned my dinner, Kolton Reed!” Mama hollered out to me from the back door, and I groaned.

  One thing she never tolerated was a badly cooked steak. I’d never hear the end of this fuck up all because I couldn’t get my mind off a girl.

  “Sorry, Mama!” I yelled back, knowing she’d be cursing up a storm by the time I reached the kitchen.

  I carried the plate back to the house, debating on whether I wanted to just skip dinner and head to my room or face the torture sitting at the table with a pissed-off Mama and every man’s wet dream driving me mad.

  In the end, I chose the torture because obviously I’m a masochist.

  Chapter Seven

  Carissa

  Bonnie complained about her overcooked steak the entire meal and complimented my salad multiple times as well. I tasted nothing. My thoughts twisted and turned, churning over plans of sneaking out of here without being caught by Bonnie or Kolton.

  Speaking of Kolton, he kept eyeing me all through the meal as if I was going to just jump up and bolt through the door and he’d have to give chase and drag me back. Neither of us talked much as we ate, him trying to remain mostly unnoticed, me silently forming an escape plan, and Bonnie filling the silence for us as if she didn’t even notice our lack of enthusiasm.

  “I promise ya my Kolt knows how ta grill a steak much better than this. Next time, he’ll have his head on straight, and you’ll see,” Bonnie promised, shooting Kolton yet another dirty look, and he groaned once again.

  “Sorry, Ma,.” he offered contritely, which was intriguing to see but still didn’t deter me from knowing I had to leave, no matter how much my heart compelled me to stay.

  “You never did finish tellin’ me why ya up and left New York ta wind up here with us,” Bonnie tossed out.

  I nearly choked on the bite of steak I’d just been in the process of swallowing. I wished either a sink hole would open up and swallow me or she’d go back to giving Kolton a hard time about the steaks. Anything but having to answer this question.

  Kolton’s head shot up, and his eyes bounced between me and his mom, finally interested in what was going on around him for the first time since we’d all sat down to eat.

  “Ya all right there, girly?” Bonnie asked, knowing full well I didn’t want to continue having this discussion, but similar to a dog with a bone, she wasn’t letting go of it for a second.

  “Yeah,” I whispered after taking a few sips of the sweet tea she’d placed before me with a thud when we’d all sat down.

  “New York?” Kolton asked, deciding
to actually join in instead of merely listening. “That’s where you’re from?”

  “Yeah,” I said, dazzling them with my big city wit and conversation skills, I’m sure.

  “Her dad was tryin’ ta force her ta do somethin’ she wasn’t right with and refused ta listen ta good reason, so she bolted and ended up here,” Bonnie supplied, catching Kolton up on our earlier conversation. “She’d been about ta tell me what it was her daddy had been demandin’ from her when Caleb came bargin’ in, interuptin’ us.”

  “It’s okay. I liked Caleb,” I told her, hoping to redirect her attention. “Has he been here with you guys long?”

  “Since forever,” Bonnie stated, turning a knowing look and raised eyebrow in my direction, showing me her irritation with my lack of forthcoming information. “There’ll be time ta get ta know Caleb and the rest of the tribe. Right now, we’re tryin’ ta get ta know ya, so please, feel free ta pick up where ya left off.”

  Bonnie waved her hand in a “proceed” motion, watching me like a hawk. Kolton had placed his fork on his plate, folded his hands under his chin, and was watching me as if I was riveting entertainment. My brain stalled out, not giving me anything helpful to get myself out of this situation.

  “We won’t judge ya, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Kolton said softly, as if he was speaking to a frightened child. He might not have been too far off in his assessment, with as jumpy as I was feeling.

  “It’s not that. I just don’t want any problems for the two of you, if my father or any of his employees do manage to find their way to your doorstep. The less you know, the better off you’ll be,” I told them honestly. My main concern wasn’t for me but for them. I’d come to care deeply for both of them in less than a day.

  “Pssh,” Bonnie scoffed and waved her hand at me. “There ain’t nothin’ we can’t handle ‘round here. Let ‘em come with or without ya here and see what happens.”