Hiding Behind Love Read online

  “You are just setting yourself up for disaster, aren’t you?” I asked myself after hearing the shower kick on in the bathroom. It was an old house, therefore you could hear the plumbing creak in the walls as it worked. I didn’t mind. In fact, it was soothing in a way I’d never imagined before.

  I quickly changed my panties, thankful my jeans hadn’t been effected by my flood of arousal, and made my way down the stairs. Bonnie was waiting for me in her recliner with her feet propped up and working on whatever yarn project she was busy with.

  “Well, aren’t ya just the prettiest thing?” she asked with a warm smile as she noticed my arrival. “My Kolt is a lucky man, if he ever pulls his head outta his ass ta realize it.”

  I didn’t know how to respond, so I took a seat on the couch to wait for Kolton to finish getting ready. Since this wedding was her idea, I had to assume she realized that we wouldn’t be married in the traditional sense, meaning sex should be off the table. But was it? The scene upstairs had me wondering just how far Kolton intended to take this entire thing and how far I was willing to let him. Judging by my body’s reaction, I’d let him take it as far as he wanted, which scared the shit out of me.

  “Stop overthinkin’ things, girly. Take everythin’ one step at a time, and the two of ya will be just fine,” Bonnie advised me wisely, and I wondered exactly what she expected to happen between Kolton and me down the road.

  “Are you sure this isn’t a mistake?” I asked, nervous doubt setting in as the reality of what was about to happen began to take hold. It was all fine, in theory, but after my reaction to Kolton upstairs, I was beginning to realize this may be more than I ever bargained for.

  “Honey, relax. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I thought it was a mistake. Kolton is the answer ta your prayers the same as you’re the answer ta mine,” she tried reassuring me, but it didn’t help.

  I hated that she’d given up fighting for her life right after she met me as if I were some angel sent from above. I didn’t know if I could live up to her expectations. Hell, I couldn’t even wash dishes until Kolton showed me how; so how was I going to help him run this ranch and do online classes toward my degree?

  “There ya go overthinkin’ again,” she pointed out astutely, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

  Before I could respond, I heard the thuds of Kolton’s boots as he hurried down the stairs to where we were waiting. Relief overwhelmed me at his interruption, keeping me from having to respond to his mother’s ability to read me like an open book.

  “Ready?” he asked, looking at me after placing a gentle kiss on Bonnie’s cheek.

  “I am,” I responded, quickly getting to my feet. I was eager to get out of this house and hopefully clear up a few things with Kolton before we got back.

  “Be back in a little while, Ma. I’ll have Caleb come up and see ya for a bit while we’re gone,” he told her with a sly grin, and I wondered what that was all about but brushed it off.

  “I don’t need a damn babysitter,” Bonnie objected weakly, and I could tell by the look in her eyes, she was actually looking forward to the older man’s visit.

  “It’s just a precaution. I don’t wanna be worryin’ the whole time we’re gone if you’re all right,” he told her as he gave her as tight of a hug as he dared, closing his eyes and savoring the moment for what it truly was: fleeting and precious.

  Any man who could treat his own mother with this much adoration had to be a good man, right? He would be the best choice out of my options, wouldn’t he? Although, I had to admit, I had no idea how Carver treated his mother, so it was an uneven comparison, but judging by the fluttering in my stomach as I watched the two interact with each other, I knew I’d choose Kolton over Carver any day of the week.

  “You’re like an old mother hen,” Bonnie teased as he pulled back from their embrace, and I found myself wiping a tear from my eye. There were only so many more of these moments left for them. I knew it, and so did they. It was heartbreaking in its reality.

  Kolton didn’t argue but turned and held his hand out for me to grab ahold of. I wasn’t sure at first, but he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Instead of waiting for me to take his voluntarily, he stepped closer, reached down, and grasped mine in the warmth of his. It felt as if he’d enveloped my whole body in the warm blanket of his, but it was just our hands.

  “Y’all have a good time,” Bonnie called from behind us as Kolton led me to the back door.

  “We will!” he hollered back, and then we were outside. “Give me a minute to find Caleb, and then we’ll take off.”

  I nodded, and he was off in a flash, while I stood there gazing out at the beauty surrounding me. It was rugged terrain, flat desert with harsh sun, but it still held beauty to anyone willing to embrace it. Since this was soon to become my more permanent home, embracing it was the option I needed to take.

  “Don’t do anythin’ I wouldn’t do, kids,” Caleb said as he passed me on his way inside, breaking me from my reverie over how much was changing in my life. I simply offered him a smile before he disappeared without a backward glance.

  “Those two have had a thing goin’ on as far back as I can remember. They think they’re sly about it and no one knows, but I’ve known for years. Mama’s decision gutted him when I told him earlier,” Kolton told me sadly as he helped me into his truck. It was newer than I expected but filthy on the inside. I couldn’t help the revulsion that bubbled up when I took a good look at the interior.

  “Sorry. It’s a work truck, and I don’t get a whole lotta time ta clean it out between runnin’ the ranch and carin’ for Mama,” he apologized as he hopped into the driver’s seat. “I’ll have ta squeeze some time into the day ta get it done, if I’m gonna have such a gorgeous lady ridin’ with me from now on.”

  He shot me a wink before focusing on backing out of the drive and pointing the truck toward the town I’d recently come from. I sat stiff as a board, staring straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge his compliment, desperately searching my brain for a way to broach the subject of how our marriage would work and what boundaries we needed to put into place so things didn’t get out of hand. I’d never had a conversation like this before and had no idea where to even begin.

  Luckily, Kolton took the decision out of my hands by flipping on the radio to a country station, cranking it up, and belting out the lyrics to whatever song was blasting my eardrums out.

  Chapter Twelve

  Kolton

  I knew Carissa and I needed to hash out the details of this crazy arrangement we’d been roped into, but I didn’t want to hear her say that sex wasn’t an option, so instead of talking, I blared the radio the entire trip into town. She seemed to want to object and force the discussion but backed down before saying a word each time her mouth opened. When I saw the first signs of civilization, I turned the volume down, knowing we could no longer push this off. Mama was dead right about the townsfolk making things even more difficult for us.

  “I have no clue how to pull this off,” I finally admitted to her, and her eyes widened in surprise at my admission. “Got any ideas?”

  “We need a believable backstory that even my father couldn’t poke holes in. What school did you go to?” she asked, her mind already turning.

  I had to admit, she had a good idea. If we’d met sooner than when she’d shown up here, then people would believe us being in love a lot easier.

  “Ohio State University,” I told her, knowing full well that was probably a dead end. She had to have gone to an Ivy League school, no question.

  “I went to Harvard. Do you have any friends from college who were from the Boston area?” she asked, and I wondered why that would matter.

  “Keith Orton is from that area, I think,” I replied and waited for her to fill me in.

  “Can you confirm that before we start talking to people?”

  The urgency in her voice was unmistakable, but I pulled over to the side of the road and called up Keith’s number on my c
ontact’s list, pressing send as soon as I located it. Keith answered after two rings.

  “What’s up, asshole?” he asked over the line, his trademark sarcasm dripping through it like molasses. “Long time.”

  “Sorry, man, my mom got sick, and I had ta come home ta take care of her and run things with the ranch,” I explained quickly.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Keith said sincerely, losing the dickhead persona he usually adopted. He was a good guy; he just had no tolerance for dealing with most people, so he drove them away by acting abrasive. I’d seen through it from the start since he’d been my roommate in the freshman dorms.

  “Thanks, man. Hey, you still livin’ in the Boston area?” I asked, praying I had the right person in mind. I hadn’t thought of any of this in quite a while.

  “Hell, I’m a Boston Strong lifer,” Keith’s voice boomed with pride. I was surprised he’d gone as far away to college as he had. “Why? Needing to get away?”

  “Nah, my fiancée went to Harvard and it made me think of you,” I lied through my teeth and hated it, but if that’s our cover story, I needed to make it work.

  “Fiancée? You gotta be shittin’ me! Thought you were home caring for your mother?” Keith had always had a strong bullshit detector.

  “Yeah. It’s fairly recent. She’s a helluva woman though,” I told him, flashing Carissa a smile as she gaped at me in shock.

  “Damn. I wish I had time to get all the details, but I’ve gotta get back to work or the boss will have my ass in a sling. Call me later and we’ll catch up,” he ordered, and I easily agreed, even though I wasn’t sure I’d even have time to give him a call. Things were pretty chaotic at the moment, and we were winging this.

  After I disconnected the call, I confirmed Keith was indeed from Boston, and she went to work weaving our cover story for us. I paid close attention, knowing every detail mattered.

  “We met when Keith talked you into going home with him for a weekend to party in his hometown. The two of you were at a bar when I stumbled in, lost, having gone for a walk after a long study session and losing my way. I stood at the crowded bar, trying and failing to catch the bartender’s attention to ask where I was and to use the phone when you came over and caught her attention for me,” she said, sounding unsure at first about her story but becoming more and more comfortable with it as it progressed. “You offered to buy me a drink after the bartender answered my question but refused to allow me to use the phone to call a friend to pick me up. I’d left my cell phone back in my apartment. At first, I was going to refuse, until I looked up and saw your cocky grin and heart-stopping eyes.”

  “Are you sure you don’t wanna go ta school for writing? You seem pretty good at concocting stories outta thin air,” I said, beginning to wonder if the whole thing about her father wasn’t some story she’d made up to land her in this very position. It may not look like much, but our ranch turned over a pretty good profit.

  “Nah. I had to help a friend or two stay out of trouble back at Harvard. I’m just glad I never let them talk me into going out with them or I’d have had to do some fast-talking, creative story-telling of my own. Instead, I kept to myself for the most part and studied,” she said with a shrug.

  “What happened next?” I asked, curious to see how we supposedly landed here, rushing to get married right after her arrival on my doorstep.

  “Well…I accepted your offer, and we found a table in the corner to sit and talk. Somehow you managed to talk me into a slow dance when I refused all invitations for some of the more energetic dances, and we lost all track of time. Before I knew it, the bar was closing, and I still had no idea how I was going to find my way home again,” she continued, and I could almost picture the night she’s describing playing out exactly as she was describing it. In fact, I almost wished that was how we’d met.

  “How do ya know I can dance?” I asked with a twinkle in my eyes, teasing her gently.

  “Even if you have two left feet—which I really hope you don’t—you were caught up in the moment and went with what felt right to you,” she responded easily, and I had to admire how she didn’t let my teasing affect her.

  “I can be pretty spontaneous, if the mood strikes me. Especially if it involves a pretty girl.” Now I was veering into the territory of blatantly flirting, but sitting here trapped in this truck with her so close I could pull her into my arms was driving me insane. I desperately needed to focus on the task at hand: convincing the townsfolk I wasn’t marrying a complete stranger just days after she mysteriously arrived.

  “I kind of figured,” she retorted with a roll of her eyes, refusing to look at me as the color in her cheeks deepened to a bright pink.

  I knew instantly she was thinking of our hot encounters in the barn, kitchen, and bathroom. Now that those memories had infiltrated my mind, I was having a hard time dislodging them as well, and we fell silent.

  A couple minutes later, Carissa unlatched her safety belt and jumped out of the truck, panting heavily. She was just as affected by our proximity and seclusion as I was, and as much as I wished she wasn’t, I was thrilled. All of this would be so much easier if we weren’t so damned attracted to each other. At least, I thought that was what was going on with her.

  “Are you all right?” I asked when I approached her a few minutes later, having followed after her when she didn’t return.

  “I’m not sure I can do this,” she said, staring off across a field, breathing heavily.

  “Whoa, you’re the one who concocted our whole backstory in there. What do ya mean ya can’t do this?” I demanded, completely baffled by her turnaround.

  “This isn’t…” she began but stopped when it was apparent she was truly struggling to breathe.

  That’s when it hit me. She was either having an asthma or panic attack, and my bet landed squarely on the panic option.

  “Hey, calm down,” I told her, rubbing her back gently as I guided her back to the truck and helped her into the passenger seat once more. “Look at me. That’s a good girl. You can do this. We can do this. I’ll be right here beside ya every step of the way.”

  Slowly, my words began to penetrate, and she calmed little by little until she seemed to be breathing in a much more normal pattern.

  “What just happened?” I asked when I was sure she was back to herself again.

  “I started thinking about how my father would react if he found out the truth of what we’re doing. I can’t be responsible for the amount of hell he heaps on you, Bonnie, Caleb, and the hands. I can’t live with myself if anyone, other than myself, paid the price for me running away from what he ordered me to do,” she told me as tears welled up in her eyes.

  I felt like a complete ass because, while I was sitting there picturing all the ways I could fuck Carissa senseless, she was mentally kicking her own ass over the whole situation.

  “Don’t worry about that. We’ve all got our eyes open goin’ into this situation. I won’t let anythin’ happen to ya,” I promised, shocked to find I meant it a hell of a lot more than I’d originally thought I would. I found that keeping her safe from her father and anyone else who got it in their head to harm a hair on her head was fast becoming my number-one priority. I rocked back on my heals at the epiphany. Carissa was quickly becoming someone very important to me.

  “So Caleb and the hands are okay with being put in danger because I happened along with all of my baggage?” she asked, arching an eyebrow, which made her look so damn cute.

  “They’re loyal and believe in doin’ the right thing, which in this case is keepin’ ya safe. You’re one of our family now, whether ya like it or not, so quit worryin’ and let’s get this show on the road,” I told her, suddenly needing to move. The sudden case of the feels was making me highly uncomfortable, and I was afraid I’d do something stupid, like tangle my fingers in her hair and kiss her until she couldn’t think straight.

  “Wait…our story won’t work,” she burst out, eyes wide as something she
hadn’t thought of occurred to her.

  “Why not?” I demanded, thinking it was a pretty damned perfect story.

  “How long has it been since you’ve been in school?” she asked, her brow crinkled as she waited for my answer.

  “It’s been about eight months now, at least,” I told her, wishing she’d clue me in to the problem she found.

  “And how in the hell would we have kept up communications for this long since the night we supposedly met? Email, texts, and phone calls are all time and date stamped, and my father would be sure to look that up,” she pointed out, and that’s when I realized what she was worried about. “It’s obvious neither one of us slipped away to visit the other, with you being busy taking care of Bonnie and the ranch and me being busy with classes.”

  “How about this: we spent the entire next day after we met together, ya showed me around the sites, enjoyin’ each other’s company more and more. I asked for your number, but ya knew your father would be against us keeping up communication with each other, so before I took you home for the day, we stopped at a store and bought a couple of disposable cell phones, so we could continue gettin’ ta know each other over the long distance until one or both of us was free to move where the other was, to work on building a stronger relationship.

  “When your father ordered ya to marry the douche, ya couldn’t stand the idea of never seeing me again, so you hopped the bus after providing plenty of misdirection and came straight to me, but when you arrived at our ranch, it looked like we weren’t home, so ya decided ta camp it out in the stable until you were sure we’d be around, but I found ya there sleepin’ first.”

  “What about the obvious fact that you didn’t know me from Eve when you found me? I’m sure the hands remember that much,” she objected, doubt puckering her face in a way I didn’t like.

  “Well that’s ‘cause I didn’t recognize ya under all that muck you were covered in, and when you realized I didn’t recognize ya, you decided ta get cleaned up a bit before revealin’ who ya were as a surprise,” I responded, thinking off the top of my head, putting the finishing touches on the story we now had to try to sell to everyone I knew.