Hiding Behind Love Read online

  “Look, I don’t see how any of that is your business. I’m sorry I trespassed, and I’ll be happy to pay you for the night I slept here, but I really need to be on my way.” I glanced at my watch and was dismayed to see that it was already after eight in the morning. I’d planned to be moving at first light to keep putting distance between myself and the little town I’d climbed off the bus in.

  “Where ya headed?” he asked, still refusing to let me go, even though I’d refused to answer his previous question. “Cuz there ain’t nothing out this way but fields, fields, and more fields for at least another fifty or so miles.”

  “Are you serious?” I practically screamed.

  “Deadly. It might have been your luck that landed ya here in my stables for the night and me finding you instead of one of my ranch hands. Look, come on up ta the house, get some coffee and food, and we’ll talk.”

  I couldn’t help my stomach’s response to the offer of coffee and food. It was loud and demanding, as usual. My mother had always frowned whenever it demanded sustenance, stating that it was unladylike for a female’s body to make such offensive noises.

  Quickly, I pushed thoughts of my mother out of my head and realized this stranger hadn’t even told me his name.

  “What’s your name?” I asked, refusing to move a muscle without at least knowing that much of the man turning my insides to Jell-O.

  “Kolton. Kolton Reed, ma’am.” He smiled a lazy grin as he stepped to the side, finally letting me pass. A shiver of desire raced down my spine when he rested his hand gently on my lower back, taking both my bag and suitcase from me with the other, before he guided me out of the stables and toward the house where who knew what awaited me. I hoped my instincts were leading me in the right direction.

  Chapter Two

  Kolton

  Normally, when I found squatters in my barn or stables—not something that happened all that often due to the remote location of the ranch—I kicked them to the curb immediately. There was just something about Carissa that intrigued me, besides her obvious beauty and how out of place she was around these parts. The fear that sparked in her eyes when I’d blocked her escape, forcing her to answer my questions, made me wonder what she was running from. It had to be something major to land her way out here.

  I should just send her on her way. Point her back in the direction of the town she’d just come from and be done with her and whatever troubles she’d brought to my doorstep…but I couldn’t do that. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to her, unable to resist her allure.

  My hand rested on the small of her back as we walked toward the house but itched to slide down and cup her perfectly molded ass in my palm. Thoughts of pulling her against my body before threading my fingers through that long, dark, silky hair with pieces of hay sticking out in various directions, tilting her head back and claiming those delicious lips for a thorough taste test, rumbled around my head.

  Damn. When was the last time I’d hooked up with a girl? I thought back, realizing it had been a few months since I’d called up Sarah and we’d hooked up for a weekend. No wonder I was hornier than a teenager who’d discovered nudie mags for the first time ever. It had to be basic animal magnetism drawing me to her, because I sure as hell wasn’t interested in anything more. I had my hands full with the ranch and my mama’s heart condition. I didn’t need to add girl problems to my list of troubles.

  “You’re not going to call the cops or anything are you?” Carissa worried her bottom lip between her teeth, drawing my eyes to her mouth. Without even realizing I was doing it, I licked my lips as I imagined sucking on that same lip she was chewing on, drawing out moans of pleasure.

  “Why? Got somethin’ ta hide?” I couldn’t help teasing her to distract myself from how much I wanted to return her to the stables, lay her back down in the hay, and fuck her until neither of us could move.

  Carissa didn’t say anything. Her eyes looked scared as they darted around, assessing everything around her—escape routes, people, animals, literally everything. I wondered if she’d bolt before I could stop her.

  “What are you runnin’ from?” I asked in a lower voice close to her ear, and she jumped about a mile high.

  “Not a damn thing. What makes you think that?” she asked, and I knew damned well she was lying through her perfect, white teeth.

  “Well, for starters, you sure as hell aren’t from ‘round here, and this ain’t a place city people relocate to. Ya have ta be born and raised ‘round here to wanna stick ‘round. Second, you’re as jumpy as a newborn colt, and people who don’t have anythin’ to hide or aren’t runnin’ from somethin’ are usually pretty calm and collected.” For a second, I hoped she’d tell me what had her so spooked so maybe I could help in some way, until I realized what I was thinking and shut that shit down. Getting involved with her—or any woman—was just asking for trouble I didn’t want or need.

  “Maybe it’s being alone with a man I don’t know that’s making me so jumpy.” Her sarcasm dripped from her tongue, trying to hide the truth, but I saw right through it. This woman made me curious, and curiosity about women was dangerous as hell. I’d already been burned once; not inclined to go back for more.

  “That could be a possibility if we were actually alone. I know ya seen the hands working—some men, some women—and my mama’s right inside the house, which completely nullifies that theory. So how about you just try tellin’ the truth?” I grinned at her frustrated expression. I could tell she wasn’t used to anyone calling her out on anything. This one here was as spoiled as they came, born with a silver spoon hanging from her mouth. I definitely didn’t need the trouble following her that would come knocking at my door, but like that stupid moth, I couldn’t stop myself from being pulled into her flame.

  “Look, just let me go. I promise I won’t come back, and I won’t sleep in your stables again,” Carissa practically begged, which kicked my protective instincts into high gear. She was definitely running from someone or something and was terrified whoever or whatever it was would come catching up to her soon.

  “Here’s the deal, I won’t go callin’ the cops if you tell me what you’re so hell-bent to get away from. I can’t help you if ya won’t talk to me.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I immediately wanted to take them back, swallow them down, and insert my foot into my mouth to keep it from running away from me anymore.

  “The less you know, the better off you are. I should’ve lied to you about my name, that way you could honestly say you had no idea who I am if anyone comes looking for me here, and I’m sorry about that. I don’t want to cause trouble for you, your mother, or anyone else here, so please, just let me be on my way.”

  Carissa’s voice shook with her fear, and I wanted to beat the ass of the person who’d caused it. No woman should be so terrified she was sleeping in stranger’s barns and begging to be allowed to continue running on a road that lead to nowhere fast. Hell, there was a good chance that if I let her go, heading away from town, she’d pass out from dehydration within a day or two before she ever reached anywhere she could settle down.

  That’s if she weren’t shot on sight for trespassing on one of my neighbor’s properties. Joyriding kids had been coming out from town, drinking, littering, and vandalizing properties lately, so the natives out here were tired and ready to scare the daylights out of them.

  “Just come inside, have some breakfast and coffee, and we’ll go from there, ‘kay?” I asked as gently as I could, hoping she’d relax enough to let me take care of her in that small way. Maybe she’d even feel comfortable enough with my mama to confide in her what had her so terrified, so we could try to help her. I hated seeing how frightened and alone she looked. Poor girl was tugging on every heartstring I had, which made me itch to start running for the hills myself.

  Cut that shit out, Kolt. Remember what Karlene did to you. You wanna go down that road again? This girl is nothing but trouble. Help her as much as you can and send her on her way
. Maybe you could buy her a bus ticket and take her to the station to help her out? I thought to myself as I got her settled at the table with a cup of coffee she doctored beyond recognition and went to check on Mama, who should’ve been comfortably resting in her recliner either knitting or crocheting away on whatever project she was working on.

  “Hey, Mama,” I said softly so I wouldn’t startle her.

  “Whatcha doin’ in here? Aren’t there chores out on the ranch that need your attention and hands that need mindin’?” she asked with a crinkle to her brow.

  “We have company.” Mama started putting away her yarn and needles to get up, but I held a hand up quickly to pause her actions. “I found her sleeping in the stables behind the haystacks. She’s real scared and runnin’ from somethin’ but won’t speak a word about it.”

  “Don’t you worry a hair on your head,” Mama said confidently. I worried she was getting too excited and would end up overexerting herself trying to take care of Carissa. I wondered again if I’d made the right choice in deciding to help the girl instead of just chasing her off. “I’ll take care of the girl. Did she at least tell you her name?”

  “Yeah. I’ll introduce the two of you. She’s in the kitchen drinkin’ some heavily diluted coffee.” I cringed when I thought of how much milk and sugar she’d used and how it didn’t even look like coffee by the time she’d finished doctoring it.

  “Help your mama up,” she requested, holding a hand out for my assistance. Once she was steady on her feet, I tucked her hand into my elbow and guided her to the kitchen. She was getting weaker and weaker as the months passed, and I knew that if they didn’t find a heart for her soon, I’d be burying her by the time the year was out. I also knew the odds were against her getting a heart, based on her age, which gutted me.

  “Carissa.” I paused in the doorway, relieved she hadn’t ducked out while I’d gone to get my mother from the living room. My mama stepped forward with a warm smile radiating her happiness at meeting this stranger. What was I saying? Mama had never met a stranger in her life. “This is my mama, Bonnie. Mama, this is Carissa.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” Carissa’s manners were impeccable as she stood and reached out her hand for a handshake. Before Carissa even knew what had happened, Mama had her wrapped up tightly in the trademark hug she greeted everyone with.

  I had to fight back a chuckle when Carissa’s eyes almost bulged out of her head in shock at Mama’s greeting.

  “Well, aren’t ya just the prettiest thing I ever seen in my life. Please sit down and relax. Are ya hungry?” Mama jumped right in as if she weren’t suffering acute heart failure and it was her life’s mission to care for this girl’s every need and desire.

  “How about you have a seat and I’ll get her somethin’ ta eat?” I suggested carefully, knowing how much it irritated my mother to be coddled because of her condition. She still insisted on doing most of the household chores, though I tried to discreetly go ahead of her and do the majority of them, easing how much work she was actually doing. If she’d noticed, she hadn’t said, and I wasn’t about to stir the pot.

  “Well, aren’t ya just the sweetest boy?” Mama gushed, shooting a wink toward Carissa, and I internally groaned. Why hadn’t I realized she would instantly try to play matchmaker between me and Carissa? She’d been begging me to settle down and give her grandbabies for the longest time and I always blew her off. Now that her health was fading, I regretted putting off giving her her greatest wish.

  Maybe Carissa picking our stables to crash for the night in wasn’t just some fluke of fate? Maybe, just maybe, she’d been guided here to help us just as much as we could help her? I shook my head, trying to dislodge the thoughts trying to take root, but the more I tried rid myself of them, the more they held tight like weeds.

  The problem was, I could see Carissa here helping me care for my mama and the ranch, laughing, relaxing and actually opening up to all of us. I’d just met her, and I could already picture her here for the duration, making her home here and settling down—with me.

  “You all right there, Kolt?” Mama asked, more amusement in her tone than concern, and I knew she was onto my train of thought. I never understood how she could do that so easily, get in my head and know what I was thinking just by looking at me. Sometimes, it was just plain scary. I knew I’d miss it when she was gone, though, so I did my best to never complain about a thing.

  “Yeah, I’m good,” I said as I pulled out the burritos leftover from this morning, popped a couple of them into the microwave on a plate, and started it. I watched them turn in circles to avoid having to turn around and face the situation I’d created for myself by bringing Carissa inside, instead of just helping her along on her way like she’d requested. How stupid can a man be to set himself up like this?

  I listened to the hum of the two women talking quietly behind me. It felt right having Carissa here in our home, and that scared the ever-lovin’ shit out of me. I set her plate in front of her and moved to sit in the farthest chair at the table. Proximity didn’t seem to matter, though. I was still drawn to her and unable to break free of the pull.

  “So…what brings ya ta our neck of the woods, dear?” Mama asked just as Carissa took her first bite of burrito she’d slathered in the homemade salsa Mama sent me back to get right after I’d seated myself.

  I watched as Carissa chewed carefully and swallowed to avoid choking on her food, debating on what she was going to say when her mouth was free of eating. I wondered if she’d try lying to my mama the way she’d tried lying to me on our way in here. I hoped not, because that would really hurt her feelings, and my mother could spot a lie ten miles away before the words were ever spoken.

  “I needed to get away,” she said simply and took another bite of her burrito.

  “Well, I can think of much nicer places ta vacation than here,” Mama hinted gently. “Not that I don’t love our ranch. I was born and raised here, after all, and so was Kolt, but when I think of vacation spots, I think more Florida, California, Hawaii, ya know?”

  Again, I watched as Carissa chose her words carefully, seeming to know my mother was trapping her into divulging the truth she didn’t want known. I almost felt sorry for her. As a kid and teenager, I’d been on the receiving end of this interrogation tactic more times than I could count. I’d never seen it fail. Ever.

  “Let’s just say I love horses, so I was drawn toward the country so I could hike and explore,” Carissa hedged.

  I had to give it to her, she was good. She was handling this better than I ever had. I saw the twinkle in my mom’s eyes as she realized Carissa was playing Mama’s game with her rules. A mental chess game had begun without Carissa’s knowledge. Or maybe she did know. Hell if I knew. It was entertaining as hell to watch, though.

  The best part? I knew damn well Carissa hadn’t uttered one lie to my mama yet, even if she hadn’t told us her story. She was quickly earning my respect, and that rocked me to my core. I could count on one hand how many women I respected after Karlene had finished chewing me up and spitting me out. There were only slightly more men on the list of people I respected.

  “Well, you’re not dressed very well for hikin’, and there’s no hills ‘round here ta speak of,” my mother observed easily, and I bit the inside of my lip to fight back a laugh. Mama was leading her right to the brink of telling us her life story.

  “I realize that now. I must’ve fallen asleep and misheard the driver when he called out what the next stop was.”

  Ah, now there she was lying, and I knew my mother caught it.

  “Really now? Ya couldn’t tell by a quick glance out the bus’ windows that this wasn’t the place ya were lookin’ for? I mean it’s flatland for miles in all directions.” Mama waved her arm around in a circle to emphasize her point, and Carissa couldn’t hide the blush that colored her skin, knowing she’d been caught lying.

  “I’m sorry. It’s not that I want to be rude and not answer your questions,
but I really think the less you know about me, the safer it is for all of us. I appreciate the coffee and the delicious food, but I should be on my way now before it gets any later.” Carissa scooted her chair back from the table, and my heart raced with panic. She couldn’t leave yet. I desperately needed to know how to protect her, and if she took off, there was no way I could do that.

  “Maybe ya could just stay here with us for a while so ya can rest up a bit before you travel more? I sure could use the help around the house, and ya look like ya’d be a hard worker. That would free Kolt up ta tend ta the ranch more than he has been lately.”

  And there it was, Mama definitely knew what I’d been up to. I dipped my head toward the table, avoiding her eyes. I just knew I’d see an admonishment shining brightly in there.

  “I wouldn’t want to burden you at all,” Carissa objected carefully, and I saw her plotting her escape already.

  “It’s no burden at all! Ya’d be helpin’ us, child. More than ya could ever imagine,” Mama reassured her so easily, no one could doubt her sincerity.

  I wondered how much she really meant what she was saying to Carissa. Did she need more help but didn’t want it from me? Why wouldn’t she want me to help her?

  “Kolt has his hands full with the ranch and the hands. I’m not gettin’ any better and don’t wanna add ta his load. Havin’ ya here would solve all that for us and give ya a safe place ta be at the same time. I doubt anyone would come lookin’ for ya here anyway.”

  I felt horrible that Mama didn’t want to ask me for help when she needed it. That’s what I was here for and the whole reason I’d left college early and come home.

  “Oh, stop it, Kolton. You’re an amazin’ son and do much more for me than I ever asked or expected, but ya could use the help as well. You’re only one man tryin’ ta do it all.” She reached and placed her thinning hand over my clasped ones and gave a weak squeeze. “I’m one lucky woman ta have ya for a son.”